I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
