im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Randomize
