This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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