Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
