lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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