i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
