well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
