i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
