And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
