Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
