I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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