I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
