So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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