WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
