But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
