dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
