Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Randomize
