how can u be prego again
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
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