guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I faked an abortion last night.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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