I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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