he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
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