it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
