can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
