do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
