I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
