Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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