So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
