Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
