Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
