i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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