Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
