That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
