would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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