ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
