My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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