dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
