This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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