im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
