Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
