There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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