According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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