Don't you send me to vm
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
