she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize