so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
