i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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