Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Sober January is a disaster.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
