I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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