I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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