It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
