I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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