I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
not ubering you a puppy
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
