i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
