I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
